Still religious???

I stand in the line to the damnation. I have chosen this path myself. Have denied the cruxifixion and the son of God. There are no turning back now. In life I was tormented by pain and madness.
Eventually evil won and I had no more will or stamina.
No escuses left, no hypocrisy and no saviour.
Wherefor when I look up and above us, the damned, I see the flames of Hell which soon shall feed on my flesh and take what is left of my mind. Everysingle thought the psychologists didn´t found and every crack in my personality the priesthood didn´t tried to convert. What the flames will take from me, one of the damned, will be the leftovers of fattigue and a character that didn´t delivered.
I had my chance one could say. He was a man, a right believer, a good person and hence and soforth. But after having fought first with the demons and afterwards with God ending up in some kind of peace realizing that all was for nothing. Must it then be I that stand when everything else fall and fails in a dance with fake-news.
Sorry, but I have no more strength no more faith and if I once had it is now up to Him to ressurect me!!!
I look at the flames. Beautifull in all their simplicity and I know when they take me it´s finally over. The flesh will be consumed, the mind reach its peak and my feelings will finally abandon me. Maybe in some akward moment I, and Satan, will become friends – cause the heat will be pure and more sincere than life ever was. In that moment I will see clearly, in life, who was my friend, my saviour and my healer. And it will not be the priest or the prophets. It will be the whore on the connor. My greatets joy will be the drug-addics and the alchoholics, the adulterus and the schizoe´s.
Please don´t remember me as a friend, a good man or a believer. TODAY in Hell the flames will unite us all. I have no more faith or stamina and I don´t think I ever had.
Now everything burns. They have taken their grip. Feel how my memories fade away while Jesus caresses me. In the depths of Hell I find what life couldn´t give: truth, compassion and direction. But oh it was just a dream as such my soul. One could conclude: He himself was a God. And surpassed the prophets. Wherefor I say Heil Satan cause what the prophets didn´t spoke the pain he offered was more purifying. Don´t put your faith in me(but in Jesus Christ).


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